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It's with a heavy heart...

2007-03-21T20:07:00.000+05:30

that we are penning down this post. We mourn the sad and untimely demise of two of our fellow iiitbians Shubham Gokhlani and Sumit Khurana. Please join us in offering our heartfelt condolences to their families and friends.

- iiit-b

Some people never learn

2007-02-07T01:25:00.000+05:30

Subject: Re: Regarding KBC joining date email which some of us did not receive.

Oh....
Ah....

I really enjoyed that. I am gonna make an MMS out of all this nonsence for the next iiitb con video. Basically they are trying to improve engliss but I have no hope. Kyon ki Just read my orkut page and any of my testimonials. I still say stuffs when its actually stuff. And I write 'from long' when its 'for long'. Yes. My engliss is improving but slowly and slowly and slowly and slowly and slowly and slowly and slowly and slowly and slowly and slowly and slowly ... yaar let me be frank. Its not.

And if anyone understands my last sentence, I swear I will propose to you and will give you an F grade when you say no (which you surely will). I svare. And if you say, 'Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror?' I will give you an I grade. Kyon ki Its a new grade. Yaar, they keep adding new kinds of grades like it has always been there.

if u speak bad engliss 8 howers daily that means the other person is going to loss 20 ears in a averaze life of 60 ears to understand it. i think u all know the importance of 20 years so believe me and stop listening to me.

www.chandnibar.xxx
Suck-la (Chameli)
Roll Over 34-28-32

________________________________

From: pmily
To: turban-deep ; iiitbs
Sent: Thursday, January 25, 2007 9:23 AM
Subject: Re: Regarding KBC joining date email which some of us did not receive.

I am still not clear on what you are trying to tell or ask. I am sorry I followed the instructions exactly - reading mails with spirit and LSD on insti roof and all.

Whatever internals they wanted, I gave them. Intestines, colons and all. Instead of ALL these crappy group mails, all it would have taken was ONE group mail by any of the KBC Internals about the dates.

Also, how many times do u people expect me to touch ur bases? i am gonna close the loop soon... and while im at it, i'll close the noose around my neck as well.. hope the rope doesnt snap.. i dont wanna touch base when it does.

-Pmily
________________________________

From:shahrukhsworstmovieever@date-keeper.com

HAHAHAHAHAHAA! HAHAHAHAAHAH! HAHAHAHAAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAA! HAHAHAHAAHAH! HAHAHAHAAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAA! HAHAHAHAAHAH! HAHAHAHAAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAA! HAHAHAHAAHAH! HAHAHAHAAHA!

RegardHAHAHAHAHAHAA! HAHAHAHAAHAH! HAHAHAHAAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAA! HAHAHAHAAHAH! HAHAHAHAAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAA! HAHAHAHAAHAH! HAHAHAHAAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAA! HAHAHAHAAHAH! HAHAHAHAAHA!
s

-Kantstoplaufing

________________________________

From:cantkeepcountanymore@totallyunrelated.com
Subject: Re: Regarding KBC joining date email which some of us did not receive.

Dear All,

First of all, i also agree that it is unfair to link personal & professional issues.

Professionally I mite seem alrite. I love cute kids, so what else can you expect? Nobody is perfect. Thats why I work hard for the smaller bodies. In my opinion, which no body cares, ......

The concerned officer and the concerned student have mixed up professionalism and personalism. The officer, (though I make officer sound like he's a secret nameless Nazi SS officer with dogs, guns and electric chairs.. he's just another person with a name). On my part, I have mixed up professionalism so much that I dont use names anymore. The concerned student mixed up personalism and professionalism. Since someone had asked for spirits to be taken with an email they sent, this mixing has occured. Lets jus quit drinking in hostels and do LSD on insti roof instead. Er, I mean, sort them at a different level. Lets all kiss and make up shall we? Call me 1-800-cutekidlover.

-Coondhan

eef you come today, its too yarly, eef you kam tomarrow, eets too late.. tick tick tick tick

________________________________

From:sixthparty@totalcrap.com
Hi all,

It is my sole duty to use such opportunities to spam mailboxes. I still havent gotten over the magic of email and wonder 'wow.. how does that work?!' everytime I send an email. Here, you wonder too!

Hope this mail is taken with spirit.

Cheers!
-Jmulbe
________________________________

Subject: Re: Regarding KBC joining date email which some of us did not receive.

Hi Pmily,

How dare you not touch the subject inspite of all his pleading. I have and I regret I did not earlier. Remember the last time I asked you to go on. I was joking. Also no unnecessary diversions. The people already can't watch where they are going or what they're saying.

Regards,
iamsheet
http://iamsheet.blogspot.com

________________________________

From:fifthparty@totalcrap
Subject: Re: Regarding KBC joining date email which some of us did not receive.

I have nothing new to say, or add. but just to check if send button of outlook is working, i am gonna repeat what fourthparty had to say, but some suckers will believe I have actually said something new. This is for them.

-fifthparty
________________________________

From:fourthparty@peasmaker.com
Subject: Re: Regarding BurgerKing joining dating emailing, whiching er, which some of us did not receive.

Peas. Everybody concerned should just use differences as manure and start growing peas.

-Brandy
The IIIT-B Peas Growing Force

________________________________

From:thirdparty@mit-plagiarism.com
Subject: Re: Regarding KBC joining date email which some of us did not receive.

Hi Pmily,

Excuse me? Are we not free enough around here? Or does the very fact that someone here questions is akin to making a mountain out of a molehill? Am I? Was I? Will I? Do I? Say Hi?

Regards,
iamsheet
http://iamsheet.blogspot.com
________________________________

Subject: Re: Regarding KBC joining date email which some of us did not receive.

Hi Internals,

I can only take you till the water. Not make you drink it. I can only show you the tree. Am in no shape to climb stairs, how do I climb trees to get you dates?! So you can all snort what you want, but no more spoon-feeding, sleep-depriving, running around, pole-vaulting from my end. Go pluck your own dates.

Pmily
Mr. Pmily OnLiqour
Manager - Reach Out
International Institute for Internally Troubled
Formerly, Indian Institute for Imbecile Trouts.
934934939 - for calls
934939494 - for sms

________________________________

Subject: Regarding KBC joining date email which some of us did not receive.

Hi Pmily,

I would like to know the reason for some of us not receiving the dates we wanted. blah blah...

Regards,
The Internals

-The Usual Suspects. and Ajay too.

Indexed Inspired

2007-02-05T00:43:00.000+05:30

A walk down memory lane

2006-08-26T12:39:00.000+05:30

By Pradeep "marlboro" Puthparampil

The once bustling corridors now wear a deserted look. With each passing day, a few more rooms become empty. The resounding laughter, and the often pointless, but passionate discussions are just a distant noise now, fading into the realm of memories.

We all set out from here, armed with imparted wisdom ready to chart our own course, to face life in our own ways. Some of us will go on to live our dreams, others will not be so lucky, but all of us start from a common ground, one where all of us have shared the same experiences. It is these experiences that promise to bind us together. We all leave promising to stay in touch with each other, although our jobs and responsibilities might take us to different places, and in course of time, we might not live up to the promises we make. Sometimes, some of us might even cross paths, literally, without even knowing it ; but we will just have to take solace in the fact that , we all shared something in common, that some of the most eventful years of our lives were spent in each other’s company.

Like the times when we used to spend all those endless nights bent over our laptops, coding away to glory on the MFC projects, surviving on countless cups of hot coffee; the passionate design discussions (or should I say “debates”), the occasional silly fights, the inconsequential misunderstandings, the haggling over the access to the discussion rooms(though I have my own doubts about the productivity of it all, anyways…). The time when Prof. Das, was the unofficial warden, and we used to wait and scheme to pour out all our complaints to the Prof. about hot water, drinking water, unclean bathrooms and what not J !! The philosophical digressions of Prof. Srinath’s classes, Prof. Keerthi’s biting humor and wit, Prof. Mahabala’s rantings , and of course, the phenomenally unsuccessful experiment of Prof. LaxmiNarayan’s audio-conferenced Probablility classes are of course unforgettable.

Of course, all these classes were interspersed with us running to the pantry during the break time, each eager to get there as fast as he could, to get his or her own cup of coffee. Needless to say, the atmosphere inside the pantry had begun to resemble that of any typical stock exchange during it’s peak trading time when nobody understands why everybody keeps shouting at everybody else.

We cannot, by any means, forget the “ragging” (or should we call it “bragging” session) by our thoughtful seniors, when they decided that enough was enough, and that it was time to put the young, brash, smart asses in their rightful places. All I can actually remember is that it came to an end with some of us singing songs. Well, that was that. I’m sure most of us wouldn’t want to relive that anyway.

I still cannot forget the day when we ran to attend Prof. KVD’s morning class, only to find that half the class had been made to stand near the screens, because they had come late for class. Most of us were, by this time, immune to any attempts at shame, humiliation, guilt or any such thing, so we couldn’t do much, but join our comrades trying to hide our sheepish smiles, while trying our best to look genuinely sorry. Then came the oft-heard lecture about how our generation has become lazy, and all. And as if that were not enough, to everyone’s surprise Prof KVD decided to top it up with a surprise quiz, a program to calculate the roots of a quadratic equation. A page straight from school!!

It’s a different thing that none of us actually learnt from these mistakes. There was this one time, when more than half the class, bunked the software engineering class, and the remaining half of the class in an act of immense generosity, decided to help out their lazy buddies by swiping their smart cards. Of course, this had been going on for a little over a week by then, and it was more than Senthil could take. So, on that fateful day, Prof. Mahabala, with a little assistance from ace detective Senthil, escalated the issue, and all of us had to stand in line for the obviously well rehearsed interrogation by Prof. Sadagopan. Prof Sadagopan had by then made up his mind that it was time the students’ were reminded of their school life, so off went a letter of apology to the parents describing their ward’s inappropriate behaviour. Now, as fate would have it, Mr. Naim Afsheen (I’m not sure how the name is spelt, so do forgive me if I have misspelt it!!) along with Prof. Balaji decided to add some more life to the play, and brought up the issue of BEC attendance.(The astute reader will here remember that, this was the time when it had taken just one listening to those ridiculous tape recordings, to frighten most of us away from attending those sessions for the rest of its duration) So , a few more students got canned that fateful day, and that day shall probably go down as a red letter day in the history of our batch, for all the wrong reasons, of course!!

Then one fine day , the announcement came through, well not without it’s own share of hype and drama, of course, that iiitb had been declared as a deemed university, and we were now on our way to becoming M.Techs and not some awkward sounding PGDIT-holders !! It was a relief I guess for all of us, and most of us would have said a silent prayer.

Well after that, there was the summer semester. I guess we ended up learning the universal secret of success, two words, that could answer even the most profound of queries, which when applied could melt even the harshest of hearts or vice-versa : “So what !! “ .

Well, we did have our fun moments too. We did have all those dance parties, where some danced and most ogled, while some others decided to get high. Of course we shall not delve into that here. J I think most of us used to look forward to these occasions more for the respite of better food than for the dance parties.

Birthdays of course have always been a much awaited event in our campus, when the poor hapless souls, who were unfortunate enough to be in the hostel, on their birthdays, got properly kicked on the butt, before having their face made into a canvas of cake and cream. Birthdays were the time for everyone to bring out their hidden bottled up aggression, this was the time when no one could question anyone’s motives, and anybody could get away with anything. More recently, the student community has been kind enough to give the birthday babies a proper bath in the pristine ice cold waters of our own little pond. It’s a different story altogether for the birthday baby of course, who finds it difficult to walk straight for a week following his birthday. This is the time of great insight and introspection, where he makes up his mind to practice some serious ass-kicking to avenge himself the next time around. Didn’t I say birthdays are a much awaited event here!! So, goes the cycle …

No account of iiitb is complete without a mention of our profs. We have all held them in awe, of their knowledge, of their skill, of their passion, though some of us will not admit it openly. In our own ways we have acknowledged them, and we have admired them secretly. Part of our pride has come from the fact that we belong to an institution where the likes of these men teach. Far away, in our own villages and towns, we walk with our heads held high, because we have seen a different life, through this institution, we have been exposed to a whole new world, a world where people rise beyond petty differences, where power is not abused, where nothing is taken for granted, where a person’s worth is measured not by how much he owns, but by how much he knows, a world where knowledge is supreme.

Placement Bytes

2006-07-08T02:02:00.000+05:30

Life from the eyes of a placement team member…

~ Man that HR is cute, if only this exam didn’t have to count so much!!!

~ [At an annoying HR making unreasonable demands] What do you mean you want to be scheduled on the first day? For the ridiculously low pay package you offer? And you don’t even sound cute!

~ [On the empty handed arrival of company HR executives] What?!??? No goodies? We get up at 8 in the morning put on gaudy shirts and rush to the reception for this?? Least you could;ve done is got us a friggin pen with your friggin logo on it !!! You are last the next time around..!

Look at that HR taking pics.. (pointing fingers at a company executive) Hehehe..maybe we should go upto her and charge her !
Exhibit #1 , garden… that’ll be Rs 20 ma’am.
Exhibit #2 , The strange mathematical object near the director’s cabin? Erm that’s Rs 25 per shot ma’am. Infact you could pay us about Rs 40 and have it.
Meee? You want a pic of me? Oh come on ma’am.. :)

[Lunchtime no pizzas remaining… ] They come to our campus, eat our pizzas, drink our pepsi , take photos and ogle at our campus and recruit only 1 ???!?? And refuse to send the offer letters even after 6 weeks and that too for a lousy internship? Who do they think they are? Google?

[just prior to the presentation] Yes sir, that’s the board.. No you don’t flip to the next page by surgically moving it using a crowbar.. you just tap at that green arrow…. Yep TAP … see magic... you use this pen… yep it’s a light pen alrite…. Tap tap scribble scribble… see more magic .... now lets get on with the talk..shall we?

[Company executives describing the passion quotient one needs to possess for testing… ]
Yaaaaaaaaaaaawn…wake me up when the talk about pay arises..

SCANDAL: PLacement officer bags the highest pay!!

2006-06-29T11:33:00.000+05:30

Even as the shock waves begin to recede through the campus, some crucial questions have been plaguing everyone's minds, Questions that are laced with suspicion, and disbelief. The man,in question though hasnt gotten over the euphoria, or atleast pretends that way. Yeah you guessed it right, we are talking about Dilip Sookumar here. The same Dilip who surprised the entire campus wih his placement in Mycrosoft. While most people might just dismiss it as a coincidence, we have reason to believe that there are darker and more sinister secrets behind the "success" story and everything is not as idyllic as it might appear. Here are some of the facts that have lent credence to our theory.

Dilip Sookumar's first cousin, BhagyaLaxmi Sooperkumari happens to be best friends with the HR executive of Mycrosoft, during their MBA, at Little Flower's, Pune. Apparently, they were roommates, and bonded very well together.They would have pillow fights for hours, giggling about silly irrelevant issues..anyways..

A day before the placement team was to be finalised, Dilip was spotted taking the chief placement officer P-mily for lunch at a very expensive joint in town, even though at the beginning of the term , Dilip showed absolutely no interest in joining the placement team.

It didn't shock us therefore that Mycrosoft which earlier had the GPA , suddenly on the day of placement decided to waive it off.

We also now have conclusive evidence given to us by one of the placement officers,on condition of anonymity, that Dilip had been making quite a few long distance calls to Cyberarabad over the last couple of months, although he himself has confessed to having no relatives or friends there.

It is said that the controversy, has its root dug deep thru the entire spread of MS management. It therefore, came as no surprise to us, that Bill Gates decided to recently quit , in disgust ,the company he started .

Now rumored to be working on a book , titled 'How I became the most eligible bachelor overnight' , slated for release in September, Dilip has just one thing to say when confronted with all these glaring facts

" Datastructures Macha.." he drawls.

Yeah right!!

P.S Some names have been changed to protect the identities of the People, Organizations and Institutions !
Courtesy - Pradeep "Marlboro" Puthparampil , Krishna "Mojo" Kumar and Hashish D

Kwality "Walls" - Eye Screams !!!!

2006-03-01T19:36:00.000+05:30

The existence of the Berlin Wall is causing a lot of distress and frustration in the minds of young socialist IIIT-B students.
A march in protest to attract the administration's attention is being organised from the Men's Hostel (MH) - > registrar's room - > volvo bus-stop where in you take the volvo to City Sagar -> Dominos -> Canteen-> Women's Hostel (WH) TV room -> Terrace -> bunjee jump all the way to the pool.

Some of our suggestions for the berlin-wall are as follows...

1. Break the damn thing.

2. Burn it.

3. Arrangement of daily meetings into the WH , with prior booking from ABY.(Bookings open till 12:00 noon daily)

4. Allowing access from the terrace.( To hell with the wall)

5. There is an ingenious method of communication as used conventionally in jails. Two phones could be arranged on either side of the wall which has a window like arrangement. With an elderly prof/ short registrar/ Severly-Damaged-English speaking BEC teacher/ Frustrated security guard/Ever smiling System Admin/P-mils standing for watch!

6. Half the wall could be broken , pessimist(sexist) iiitb students could assume its half closed , while the optimist(socialist) iiitb students could assume its half open!

7. Walls bearing doors with access cards can be arranged for.
Privileged cards for

those who have >=1 testimonials in orkut from the opposite sex.
watched DDLJ >=666 times
those who won the rangoli event at spamdan recently

8. In a recent debate at the annual swashbuckling college fest "Spamdan", one intellectual individual admitted that 22-29 happens to be a very "unpredictable age". We to-date haven't been able to figure out what that means ( sounds dangerous though ) but these individuals shall be barred from all privileges and kept at a custom-made asylum (where the Open Some Labs guys reside)

9. One drop box on either side of the hostel where prospective casanovas can post their resumes can be arranged too. They need not try and use the mailbox to flirt in a subtle yet public sense anymore.(Red-deep note).

Those interested in all the tear-jerking / sentiment pouring /mom-in-law bashing soaps will be granted access to the TV room at the WH. While those with a penchant for gory action sequences and mindless pelvic thrusting dance sequences of regional language movies will be granted access to the MH T.V room.

dialup shoomacher/ huh-rish

Spam on...

2006-01-31T01:01:00.000+05:30

by Sanket Chimalwar

He says,
This image is dedicated to those whose take active part in spamming the mailbox. Please keep up the spirit...

Open Some Labs

2006-01-26T22:04:00.000+05:30

"Open Some Labs" Selections

Hi, I'm "loud mouth" this is my friend in pink pants "Moanteey"/Gourmet we will be conducting your exams for the evening! Before we start , let me remind you that Plagiarism is a criminal offence! The paper is simple, comprising of about four main sections with three subsections. If you would like to take a break/pee please contact me or Moanteey. Good Luck!

**** Let the circus begin!! ******

What looked like a lazy sunday afternoon turned out to be an early placement day for the seventh batch! The students were seen walking out of the hall discussing very animatedly and consoling each other....

After hours of scrutunising and running complex algorithms to ensure all fairness in the tests...

Loud Mouth: Ok everybadie,(yelling) I have reesults naow, (yelling louder) I'm going to put it up on the notice board (yelling even more) ..

Moanteey : Be prepared with Data Structures/ Mining / Warehousing/ Abuse/ Reusability!

***** A few moments later at the Interview ******

See-the-earth-ready : Ok, so why did you choose to take up research?

Hapless Candidate #1 : Sirji, I mean See-the-earthji, My mind, and my body I want to augment with my soul since birth, so want to have ..

See-the-earth-ready : (interrupting) Ok ok I think I get the point....(WHat the?!?!)

.......

Loudmouth: Ok, ready turbulent coder #2?

turbulent coder #2: Yessir..

Moanteey: All the best ok.. go

Nike-l: Ok so what are your interests?

turbulent coder #2 : Hockey, TT, UT, CT, IT,BT...

Nike-l: Why do you wish to work in semi-structured-analysis-of-manually-derived-wide-area-distributed-randomised-search-networks?

turbulent coder #2 : Err, what?

.......

***** After a six-hour long gruelling interview session ******

We caught up with one of the interviewers, See-the-earth-ready. Ready says "the USP of Open Some Labs is to get the best of the bestest of the newest". Ready claims "We have managed to achieve 33% reservation for women". Ready also insists "The whole process was completely transparent ". Ready smiles emphatically and proclaims "Lets Open Some Labs"

As reported by our special correspondents Dialup, Darvin and Hash

Demo(ralising) week

2006-01-06T16:39:00.000+05:30

Placement Week

2006-01-06T16:34:00.000+05:30

Courtesy KK

Don't say we didn't warn you...

2006-01-03T16:58:00.000+05:30

IIIT-B Security Measures in lieu of the recent events in the city...

If you notice any suspicious looking people moving around, inform De-Morogan, Aby, Sri Rao B.E or sane-dil so we can give them an application form!
If you notice an armed person or someone carrying explosive material (Bangchi) or other suspicious components screeeeam hysterically and run out of the campus.
If you notice suspicious looking material or unattended bags in the campus it might be filled with goodies, you can take it to your room and partyyy.
Strict vehicle and id-card checks, make sure all of them are emission tested!
In case of exchange of fire try to dodge bullets like the way keanu does. You can draw inspiration from "The Matrix" or any movie of SunnyDeol/Vijaykanth/Upendra.
Do not panic in the event of an incident, climb up the nearest tree and stay there until help arrives.
If any stranger asks you to care of some (suspicious looking) bags , throw it in the pond..it could be an explosive!
Kindly note some emergency numbers
1-800-ever-reddy........Reddeep
1-600-111-23................Dominos
111...................................Hutch Care
Fire 101
Fire again 102
Fire one last time 103

P.S for an actual version of this refer to the notice board at the reception.

Compiled by Dilip, KK and Harish

Captions Invited...

2005-12-16T16:32:00.000+05:30

Calling all the creative minds of IIIT

Software Engg Aftershocks

2005-12-03T10:20:00.001+05:30

Interupting the proceedings of an interview during the placement week......

Prof:- (knock knock ) Excuse me ... Can you hear me through the system...errr.. window??
Student:- Yes sir .!?!?

Prof:-(writing it simultaneously on the board) Have you submitted your software engineering WSR no: 273
Student :- HUH?!?!?!

Prof:- You were supposed to submit it the day before your placement.. failing which you will be graded only on 98%
Student (Thinking): What the !@#?!?!!
Student (Aloud): Sir, but ...

Prof: No I am sorry your time is up now.. You may continue with the interview........

Interviewer: (astonished) Is that true?
Student: yes sir.. (slaps head in frustration)

Gardening @ iiitb

2005-11-28T20:15:00.000+05:30

by Aditya R. Rachakonda

Just for laughs

2005-11-23T20:00:00.000+05:30

From: redeesh.mogul@iiitb.ac.in
To:iiitbs2005
cc: iiitbs2004,facultie
Subject: Re:Spam

Belucci Belucci Belucci Err..... I mean Shanti gowri Lakshmi...err.....
Shanti Shanti Shanti

Lets talk about "Synthesizing Moore's Law Using Ubiquitous Epistemologies "
or Towards the Evaluation of Randomized Algorithms that Made Harnessing and Possibly Visualizing Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games a Reality instead.

Regards,
redeesh

From: bang.chi@iiitb.ac.in
To:iiitbs2005
cc: iiitbs2004,facultie
Subject: Sab maya hein

I feel there are more contentious issues like the
1. What do you think about the recent panchayat elections in Kurnool dist., AP, India?

2. Do you think its high time aishwarya rai got married?

3. Do you think flirting using group mails should be banned? I think so.

4. Do you think SAP is a mass recruiter? Mass as in individual's mass? Please debate.

Regards,

Bangchi

Smoking kills...But others :-)

From: reddeep.moderator@iiitb.ac.in
To:iiitbs2005
cc: iiitbs2004,facultie
Subject: Re:Spam

Take my phone number 1-600-everreddy . Call me!!!
We can debate it over dinner or lunch or breakfast or inbetween .

Thanks,
Reddeep

The king of good times!

From: De-Morugan@iiitb.ac.in
To:iiitbs2005
cc: iiitbs2004,facultie, Sri.Rao.B.E.LLB.M.A, Sane-dil
Subject: Spam
Your message did not reach some or all of the Lackaidascal prattled recipients.

The following recipient(s) could not be reached:

Mugwallah.Wahdev on 11/22/2005 10:06 PM
The message could not be delivered because the recipient's mailbox is full.

placement2006 on 11/22/2005 10:06 PM
The message could not be delivered because the recipient's mailbox is full.

regards,
DeMorugan
Truce!

P.S Please bare with us :-)))

From: I_man@iiitb.ac.in
To:iiitbs2005
cc: iiitbs2004,facultie, masters.of.the.universe

Subject: Re:Lost Umbrella

Ok fine, I admit you are a moron.. hapy?

Peas,
I'm an
i man therefore I am

From: He_man@iiitb.ac.in
To:iiitbs2005
cc: iiitbs2004,facultie, masters.of.the.universe

Subject: Re:Lost Umbrella

Hi all,
This is not a trivial issue. I was lucky enough to find my umbrella floating in the pond the other day. If you find these mails offensive, you can always switch off the monitor, right?

cheers,
He_man.
Life is an umbrella, open it before the sh** hits the fan.

From: I_man@iiitb.ac.in
To:iiitbs2005
cc: iiitbs2004,facultie

Subject: Re:Lost Umbrella

Hi all,
Please do not mail the groups with such silly issues as losing an umbrella. Im sure it can be used for more useful purposes.

Regards,
I'm an.

I man , therefore I am.

From: iiitb.oxymoron@iiitb.ac.in
To:iiitbs2005
cc: iiitbs2004,facultie

Subject: Re:Lost Umbrella

Hallo,
Ooops!! I forgot to inform you all that I had lost the umbrella in the first place.
Thanks anyways.

luv,
oxymoron.

From: iiitb.oxymoron@iiitb.ac.in
To:iiitbs2005
cc: iiitbs2004,facultie

Subject: Lost umbrella!!
Hai all,
Sorry for troubling you all. But just wanted to inform you all thaht I found my umbrella , near the canteen kitchen sink.

cheers....hic......hic......hic.....burrrrrrp
oxymoron.

Compiled by Dilip, KK, Harish , Pradeep

Candid Camera

2005-11-17T22:18:00.000+05:30

The demands of the students has taken its toll on this placement officer !

Thanks to Krishna, Pradeep and of course Dilip, I thought it was hilarious and deserved to be here where the world could see...

Activities summary @IIIT-B

2005-11-17T20:12:00.000+05:30

Upcoming events at IIIT-

1:- Free pulmonology checkup camp (for guys with a weak heart due to the upcoming project demos and exams) at room 132 on monday 5:00 p.m .. (All are welcome)

2:- King Roh's folk songs and Bhava Geethe recital to be held at the OSL lab every wednesday night as a part of the cattle memorial service for the weep-roh-ites

3:- Exhibition of paintings by all TAS , 11 a.m. to 7 p.m near registrar's office. (Attendance compuslory to IIIT students- Attendance to be recorded, sane-dil please note)

4:- Prof Joy Malakar and Prof Dial-up Sukumar give talks on the detrimental effect of Information technology as a prime cause for bird flu in northern botswana province.

5:- IIIT to play host to the birthday celebrations of the german husbandry department president.

Regards,
Sri Rao B.E LLB, M.A

De Morgan's Law

2005-11-09T23:20:00.000+05:30

This is spam. Please ignore it.

Lost and Found!

2005-10-29T12:37:00.000+05:30

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From: iiit-b Loser
To: iiitbs2004; iiibs2005; iiitbs2006; iiitbs2007; iiitbs2008
Subject: Lost. Waaaaaaaaaaa!

Dear All,

I have lost my "note" somewhere in room 131. The note is in shades of pale yellow and pale orange and has "10" written on the one side in large font. Right above this '10' is wriitem "RESERVE BANK OF INDIA" and beside it is a smiling picture of Mahatma Gandhi. On the other side of the note is a picture of a tiger that looks very angry. If you find the note and don't return it, the tiger will eat you.

Go find my note for me. Now! Note that I have not enquired at the reception if someone who found the note left it there. So maybe you will find my note there.

P.S. I'm sending this out to the future iiit-b batches also so that they can return the note to me if they find it once they get here.

Regards,
iiit-b Loser

--------------------------------------------------------------
From: iiit-b Finder
To: iiitbs2004; iiibs2005; iiitbs2003; iiitbs2002; iiitbs2001
Subject: Found. YuHooooooo!

Dear All,

I've found a "note" in room 131. Whoever the note belongs to, collect it from me after giving the full details (like color, contrast, description and the unique number on it). I'm not leaving the note at the reception from where the loser can collect it because then I'll not be able to send out this mail.

Note that I have not checked my mail to see if the loser mailed looking for it. Why should I? I'm the finder and sending this mail itself is a great service I am doing to you all.

P.S. I'm sending this out to the past iiit-b batches also so that if this is their note, they can collect it from.

Thank me,
iiit-b Finder

--------------------------------------------------------------
From: iiit-b Loser
To: iiitbs2004; iiibs2005; iiitbs2006; iiitbs2007; iiitbs2008
Subject: Lost, and found. Hee hee hee!

Dear All,

I've finally, after a lot of searching and screaming, found my note. I just thought that I'd let you all know so that you can stop searching for it and get back to your work.

Until next time,
iiit-b Loser

Invader Alert ! A historical Perspective...

2005-10-25T23:51:00.000+05:30

IIIT-B was apparently an abandoned god forsaken building, before it was acquired by our dear founders.

Turns out that a long long time ago, sometime before christ was born and shahjahan built the Taj, IIIT-B was in posession of the parsians. They used a major chunk of land (where the fountain is housed now) to graze their cattle. They led a very simple life and were happy at chasing chickens by the daylight and flying kites by the moonlight. The persians had strange accents and would often shift time to time as nomads. (from where the icici ATM is now to where the UBI atm is).

Behind,( where the hostels are) the greeks too used to live a rather quiet life under an incompetent king called "Roh". King Roh used to love loitering around the pond and would sit for hours watching bubbles surface and amuse himself. One quiet morning the portuguese under the able leadership of King Tavant de Gama invaded what is the IIIT-B campus now from the side (where the UBI is housed) and captured king Roh! King Roh wept incessantly begging for mercy..and so did the persians with their strange accents. The tireless charismatic swashbuclking and merciful king Tavant granted the weeping king Roh mercy and set him free. Failure to understand the strange accented persians, he ordered for all their cattle to be executed. But King Tavant later felt sorry about the incident and built a memorial for the cattle for the persians.Shahjahan took time off his Taj and worked to design what is now known to be the DOME.

Many many years later, ardent followers of King roh, (now called the weep-roh ites) strange accented perians (now called the accentures) and the descendants of King Tavant de gama (now known as the Tavants) visit the campus for the daily cattle memorial service ( now housed at the cisco lab, first floor ...) to offer their prayers. They also sit at the OSL lab and learn about their ancestors extravagant lifestyle and occasionally weep at the sound of king Roh!

Thus IIIT-B is a fragmented dynasty which has survived for centuries from invasions by the Tavants, Accentures and Weeprohites...and will continue to do so....

Bloody birth(day)^2

2005-09-22T02:26:00.000+05:30

This day shall henceforth be known as "Bloody birth(day)^2" in the history of iiit-b. We "celebrated" the birthdays of 3 of our classmates: Vaibhav, Rahul and Vivek. It was just amazing. Eating three different cakes on a single day is just an amazing thing.. a feeling that is better not described.

Now, for the title of the post.. a bloody birthday day... (that is what ^2 is supposed to symbolise, one more AJ). It was actually not bloody. It was just filled with eggs, tomatoes and lots of cake. First the birthday boys, to be read as bakras, were dragged out of their hiding places under the beds, in their friends' rooms and even the bathroom. They are kicked to an inch near death in a ceremony called birthday bums [:))]. Then, we have a raucous singing of happy birthday (refer Sids post on law of average), followed by the cake stuffing. This time, we decided to add a few new additions to the existing custom. People familiar with birthday celebrations in hostels might have already endured this. The eggs were really good, esp when it is on Vaibhav's and Rahul's face. Another thing that is not to be missed is the amount of Maaza poured on Vivek and Rahul. The author claims to be a victim in the collateral damage when Maaza was poured (made me wash a t-shirt i hadn't washed for a few months :( ). The bakras were not the only folks covered in cake. Any one in the vicinity was given a coating of cake too.. that is fun folks.
The eggs, tomatoes and Maaza shall henceforth be deemed illegal in any party where any author of backBytes is going to be a bakra.

This is already a long post, so let me cut it short by saying... one hell of a "Bloody birth(day)^2"

Fear and Loathing in IIIT-B

2005-09-21T18:23:00.000+05:30

Overheard at the college mess......
Not only do I have to tolerate all the deadlines, assignments , quizzes and projects but the insanely meaningless signatures that come with the mails!!! I' join committees only to be given work I absoulutely despise,and I'm supposed to put on an enthusiastic smile and pretend to like everything around me! Stand through long queues for lunch and hold on to my chair to not fall off out of boredom at the ovals drawn in the main class room!
And to top it all, I have to pay an astronomical amount for my party and stick decorative paraphernelia around so these people with "insanely meaningless signatures" can enjoy!!!
Phew!!!!!!
I attend equal number of tests than classes all day!
I;m constantly being advised in turns by strangers with "strange signatures" who say
-> Don't ask profs doubts
-> Don't Complain
-> DOn't cut classes
-> Don't make a loud noise
-> Don't talk out of time
-> Don't theorize, realise, polarise
-> Don't smoke
-> Don't walk on grass
-> Don't smoke grass
-> Don't walk on people who smoke grass
Phew!!!!!!!

Law of Averages…nah!

2005-08-26T02:59:00.000+05:30

We were celebrating two birthdays tonight. It was the usual kind of celebrations - birthday bumps, cakes...ah cakes! It is customary here to sing 'Happy Birthday to you' before the cake s are cut, like it is everywhere else - nothing strange or unique there. What is unique though is the way this was sung. There is this 'Law of averages' which says that eventually, everything "evens out." Not at iiit-b. Nope. Everyone - there were a lot tonight - was singing and singing at his own accord. No two people were in sync. Not even those guys who were just mumbling. This really really shows our uniqueness. Wah iiit-b!

Narvi just pitched in this saying: "the only thing common about all of us is our uniqueness."

A reminder

2005-07-31T16:00:00.000+05:30

Lunch (iiit-b)
Originally uploaded by Sids.

As we settle down happily(?) with the new caterer, this is a reminiscent of the caterer we just got off.

Ah. Feels great. A new caterer. Good food for at least another month ;)

inVADER alert

2005-06-06T18:49:00.000+05:30

India has seen its share of invaders: from the Persians, Greeks, Mongols, Arabs, Portugese, French and British raiders. This may be the reason why we are so immune to be invaded and subjugated. iiitb, the place where I am doing my M.Tech is currently reeling under an invasion. With nearly a 100 people on training from Accenture and nearly half that size seizing the guest rooms, life has turned upside down for a normal iiitbian.

Let me first describe iiitb. I am not sure if it is still Indian Institute of Information Technology, or, has it become International Institute of Information Technology (due to some archaic government rule). So I shall simply refer it as iiitb. iiitb has a nice, quiet population of around 200 people who love late nights, loud music, and a touch of insomnia. With the latest additions, essential supplies like coffee, tea and even ice cream has become scarce. The most unimaginable thing that can happen on campus is the lack of LAN access points. This is because the visitors (we are getting used to them, so they may not be invaders for long) are occupying 2 labs completely. The invasion has started. What lies on the road ahead?